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Reply to "Elder care for my abusive narcissistic mother"
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[quote=Anonymous]OP, You need to take the emotions out of it when you deal with your siblings. If your mother was the most wonderful, kind, loving perfect mother in the world and developed dementia, where/how would she get the best care? Dementia is very difficult. If your siblings choose to care for her at home, offer to contribute the same amount of money for care services you'd pony up for an elder care home (presuming you were willing to do this.) She might be better off in a home where they specialize in this and will probably end up there. When you discuss this with them, act as though you are discussing an elderly neighbor you barely know, meaning keep personal comments, past hurts, judgement of your siblings etc. out of it. At this point, it's not about her, it's about preserving the relationship with your siblings. Don't let your mom poison that well too. [/quote]
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