Reply to I miss my ex way too much

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. I thought I was going to get attacked but you have all been great!  [b]I have kept in touch with him over the years, and I don't think that has helped.[/b] I plan to not communicate with him any more, not that it was frequent, until I am engaged and then one final goodbye lunch perhaps. As for the new guy; I am attracted to him, very much love him, have lots of fun with him, but I do not feel that our connection is as deep as it was with my ex. I can commit to him with my whole heart and I think we will last, but I hope this part of me that yearns for my ex will some day disappear. [/quote]

OP! Cut contact ASAP! Until you've been out of contact for at least a year (no looking him up online either!!), it will be impossible for you to gage this relationship or any other. Please get started with that promise to yourself today!

Also, refrain from listening to sappy songs or watching sappy movings for a while also. You have been fanning the flames of this.

Have you ever noticed that a big component of these kinds of feelings is LONGING. Even when you were dating, I bet you had a sense of longing (since you never committed to each other, there was always uncertainty). That explains a lot of what you are feeling. When you subtract that out of the equation, a relationship can sometimes feel dull in comparison. But a committed relationship has it's own unique and connected feeling that is 100 times better in my view. You have to give it a chance to grow though.

Good luck OP!![/quote]

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