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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here.  Thank you, PP.

I don't want to give up on our marriage but we are so far apart now that I don't know if we can put the marriage back together.  We have no intimacy whatsoever.  We're like two roommates who aren't even good friends anymore.  I know caring for our daughter would be infinitely more difficult if we tried to go at it alone but I don't know if that is a good reason to stay married.  [/quote]

OP, I don't have a special needs child. I am, however, divorced. We separated when (neurotypical) DD was 2.

In terms of getting him to go to counseling with you, perhaps you could frame it as you needing to go to help you process your daughter's challenges. It is completely reasonable for you to feel overwhelmed, to be grieving, etc. It is also completely reasonable for you to need your husband's love and support when you're having a hard time coping. Perhaps you could start with individual counseling, and then present it to him as your therapist suggesting that you come in as a couple to put together a self-care plan for your family as a unit? It sounds like you guys have been hit with a lot in a very short time. Maybe you have different ways of coping, and that's fine, but you need to also be patient with each other and recognize that you respond to things differently.

I went to counseling on my own when my ex refused to go with me. I tried this approach to get him in the room and, while it didn't work, when we did end up separating, I felt like based on the counseling and the time spent trying to work out my own issues and feelings, that I had given it my best shot. I'm really sorry you're going through this. Please do something nice for yourself today.[/quote]

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