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[quote=Anonymous]Thanks all. I agree about not developing a victim persona. Since I have been thinking about this, I am not super paranoid about having some of her bad traits. It's sad because it even makes me feel repulsed about having some of her perfectly endearing little mannerisms. I guess I'll work through that, and added self awareness isn't a bad thing.

Family therapy lol. No thank you :) She absolutely collapses and panics under any kind of criticism, no matter how gentle and constructive. She then becomes histrionic and manipulative in a frantic attempt to deflect the criticism. Looking into herself is too painful for her to bear, so I expect that she'll maintain her "false persona" for the remainder of her life. Accepting that, which is a recent thing, has been a HUGE relief to me psychologically. So I'll just try to be compassionate and keep her at arm's length. She is always "sooooooo busy" doing very important things, so that shouldn't be too difficult.

The most interesting thing about this is that it's almost like a death. I used to think my mom was a real person I could interact with. Now I realize she is like a rigid cartoon character with a script on loop. Like I mentioned earlier, recognizing that is kind of surreal!! [/quote]

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