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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I am your wife in the situation. My MIL has never had a friend-my husband has never seen a woman in his childhood home besides his aunts 1-2x per year for holidays. When I married into his family, I was the first female his mother had to socialize with in 30 + years. (She worked as a secretary to a small town lawyer and her entire office was her and this attorney for 30 years.) The money/class dynamic is the same, and the mutual dislike is the same.
They also never ever ask how we are doing, expect to be waited on when they visit (including inmediately after childbirth), guilt my DH that they never see the grandkids but get bored and retreat to read or watch TV alone after more than a few hours, and are disappointed and express their disappointment if one of the children is sick on "their day". I could go on forever, but you get drift.
We deal with it by inviting for specific events, in writing, weeks in advance, and make 50% of those outings only my DH and children. It is business like and stiff in the arrangements, due to having to follow up, remind them if they don't let us know we need to be able to plan something else (due to multiple last minute cancellations) and have to work really hard to "manage" the conversation, change the subject when the complaining gets out of hand, etc.
I know it sounds harsh to people not in this situation, but we have to treat them delicately, it's almost a dance to make sure they have fun but don't, for example, insist on treating to dinner and then challenge the waitress on how the food is too expensive and leave a $2 tip. Seriously draining but we have learned to manage it.[/quote]

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