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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This thread could have been started by my husband (I thought it was but our children are older and we've been together longer).  I can completely empathize with the OP.  I have his parents as my in-laws but throw in a super controlling FIL who is just a downright jerk to everyone including his wife, and add that they are incapable of reading social cues.

From the DIL perspective, it is very, very difficult to be around people who not only have nothing in coming with you but also don't give a rats ass about you or your family.  [b]If OP's parents are as similar as it sounds to my in-laws, they probably never, ever ask about how OP, his wife or his daughter are doing or what they have going on in their lives.[/b]

OP- could you just plan, way in advance, meeting up with your parents in a controlled environment like a restaurant or park?  Then your interaction with them can be for a set time and a set purposes and they can still have some form of relationship with your daughter.

Another suggestion would be spending time with them without your wife.  I'm sure all parties would be onboard with that.

Given all the bitching that goes on in DCUM regarding many challenging in-law relationships [b]I am truly surprised so many people are giving you such a hard time[/b].[/quote]

OP here, you're spot on.  They never ask.

To the others asking about age, DW and I are in our upper 30's, this has been going on for well over 10 years.[/quote]

I think this is because OP is giving the impression that he is still a child himself, caught up in the drama of being "embarrassed" by his parents, as we all were when we were maybe 13. He has turned that into feelings of how-dare-you when they don't want to spend time with their granddaughter, and conveniently married a woman who "hates" them, to support his cover.

OP, as several PPs have said, they are what they are. They are not going to change at this point. Why you can't embrace that and appreciate the good that they do/ could offer, says more about you than about them.[/quote]

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