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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Your son will need to deal with the reality that his mother knowingly chose to take someone whom her son had as a coach, teacher and mentor figure and turn it into something that is all about her.  Pathetic.  Isn't it enough that your son's parents are no longer together?  If your son has a healthy view of marriage, he realizes that the marriage is the primary relationship, and that the parent-child relationship become increasingly secondary as kids grow older.  You've basically taken away his male mentor, putting yourself in the spotlight as the potential spouse.  Can't you find your own partner without stealing from your kid?  Rather than giving your son time to adjust to this selfish, selfish situation you've chosen, how about you get yourself on match.com and find someone your son didn't find first.  And, no, it is not your young son's job to be able to articulate to you all the reasons this is so inappropriate.  You've put him in the position of essentially having to betray you and his coach if says anything bad bout the relationship.

Next year you may be positing about how you dated your son's coach, you broke up, and now you need your son to adjust to his coach not wanting any connection with him due to the breakup (and you'll ask the question in all sincerity, as though there was no predicting this outcome).  And you'll wonder (even if you marry this teacher) why your son doesn't want to share things with you, asking if he should seek therapy or the like, never thinking twice about the role you've played in this wholly predictable outcome.  And even if all ends well, why would you ever put your son's relationship with you at risk in this way just to date a guy?

Unbelievable.  [/quote]

Wow.  You're carrying a lot of baggage.  [/quote]

Actually, no baggage at all.  OP just seems so very self-absorbed.  Why can't this grown woman find her own relationship, instead of her since again having to work around his parents' relationships.  It's a big world out there.  [/quote]

New poster. You sound very angry. Take a step back, maybe.

[/quote]  I spend 100% of my time with my kids. I do not shove him at my 15yr old.  He comes over for dinner occasionally, the movies - simple things -  twice per month...that is not shoving.   What would you like to know "mr baggage"?  I didn't leave anything out intentionally...just looking for some unbiased opinions to help me decide in how to move forward or not.  I've been divorced 2 years, have not dated much at all, first person that has been worth dating. The coach is an assistant, and has not been a "mentor"...he has other coaches that fill that role.  More info...I have a 10 year old that adores this man and gets along very well with him...My 15 yr old sees me happy, laughing again... not stressed.  He comments about how he is glad I'm happy again... He just cant get used to seeing me with someone that is not his dad and doesn't want to see it.  That is my problem.  I'd be happy to share more info for an unbiased opinion.  Thank you :).[/quote]

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