Reply to At risk 17 year oLd - need help desperately

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I would not take him out of school. If he is going and can graduate (even if his grades are not what they should be), you should encourage that. What will he do if he is not in school? He will be home and you will be at work and there will be way too many idle hours on his hands. (I am dealing with this situation myself.) Also, even if his engagement with his schoolmates is limited, more social contact is almost always better.

I do think counseling would help. I'm not sure where you are, but Rathbone and Associates in Bethesda has several great therapists who specialize in adolescent boys.

We have been dealing with this for several years and attempted school changes and various other things that did not help. What finally helped was a good psychiatrist who diagnosed depression and anxiety, a neuropsych exam which showed us some learning style issues (not LDs per se but areas of difficulty) and ADD. (Totally surprised by that.) I'm not saying your DS has any of these issues (or any issues at all), but we wandered around in the weeds for a very long time before assembling the team that really helped us.

As far as your interactions with him, we have had a great deal of conflict during this time and one of the many turning points was taking a Dan Shapiro class which emphasized building and strengthening the relationship with your teenager. If you want him to listen to your advice, you have to build/strenghten bonds with him on many other levels first. Support him, understand that he his trying to figure life out and although he is making choices that you don't always agree with, let him know that you love him and are with him in this process.

Good luck. I totally get how stressful this is.
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Thank you for your understanding and pointers to where we should be looking.

I am going to look into Dan Shapiro's classes and see if DH and I can attend and also look for a psychologist.

What kind of psychologist should I be looking? As for Psychiatrist, I need to understand the path. Can you please help me understand how you approached it. Did you just went to one you found or there are some kind of experience I should be looking. I had talked about possibility of neuropsych issue with DS's pediatrician and he had ruled it out. According to him if DS can sit in front of the computer doing what he likes for hours - he does not have ADHD or ADD...should I ask for any specific issue. I am totally exhausted and very worried that I am leaving DS in danger if I do not act quickly.[/quote]

Personally, I would start with a good therapist. See what he or she recommends from there. Family therapy is also a good idea.

Are his academic issues only from this year? What your ped said about ADD is completely wrong.

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Can anyone please suggest a few Teen Therapist and family therapist in Montgomery county.

His academic issues have been there for a few years. He procrastinates, and does not at all study subjects that is difficult. In the process he gets B's by fraction of points many times. Feels bad every semester and plans to study from the beginning next time. However forgets all that when classes roll in. He is also does not handle multiple priorities at the same time. I read somewhere that some kids lack executive functions and these are the symptoms. Just do not know how to help. Have asked the ped several times and he believes a B+ is fine. A B+ would be fine if that is his best and he feels confident about it. But not fine if he is under performing and keeps himself away from school scenes because of his academic performance. DS also has mentioned not being able to stay on task and focus and has asked if I can get him Aderall (he has heard of this friends who have ADHD). [/quote]

I know several people who have been happy with Dr. Wagner at Expressive Therapy.  I'm familiar with the office in Rockville, but I think they have a Bethesda location too.
http://www.expressivetherapycenter.com/

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