Reply to AMA: I am a high achiever raised by awful parents

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How did you identify and overcome the skills deficits and social deficits that other kids naturally learn through a more or less healthy home life? And do you practice remediation of the screwed up role modeling passed along to you?

Did you kids hang together? In my screwed up house the NPD set us against each other for his own benefit, to long term negative impact. Is it similar for you, or did you escape that.

Do your parents still anger you, or are you past it?

Thx, interesting AMA![/quote]

I have no relationship with my parents. Some of my siblings cut ties quickly. I kept waiting for them to change and learn, to realize how lucky they are to have kids who have turned out so well.  They both have clinicially psychotic tendencies and screwed me over big time when they realized that I was still a sucker for them.  It took a major incident in which I barely escaped harm to make me realize I had to cut ties.

My siblings and I protect each other but not all of us are close. We have a kind of survivors' attachment to each other, but some of my siblings are capable of great duplicity and cruelty too. So, I keep those ones at a distance for my own sake. We will always band together against others though. Also, I am the leader among my siblings though, so I keep tabs on all of them and make sure we don't get too disconnected.

[b]As far as how I learned the skills, I am a mimic.[/b] I people watch constantly and imitate everything from syntax to clothes to body language to cultural references. In a way, I identify with the main character in The Talented Mr. Ripley, except I am not antisocial. It became very clear to me once I hit high school that I was abnormal and had not been taught the basic social and emotional skills that others have. I[b] had no one to explain to me, so I had to just watch and emulate. I have been doing so ever since. [/b]My siblings are the same. We share insights with each other all the time about complex matters, but also simple stuff such as the proper way to hold a fork (I learned this at age 15 when I was teased about spearing my food and told the rest of my siblings so they wouldn't be teased).[/quote]

God, your post just articulated what I did too, though to a much lesser extent. I learned all the social stuff of how to behave, but not the moral stuff - how to choose to do what is right, how to be kind to people and establish long term relationships. I did exactly what you did. [/quote]

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