Reply to How do you know you're being strung along?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have been strung along, but i'm pretty quick to see it happening and get out.  Honestly, a lot of people don't realize they're stringing you along.  They may like you, they just don't like you enough to take it where you want it to go.  I can't really fault those people.  I would fault a person who actively lies and says, "I want marriage/babies/whatever" but has no intention of doing that stuff with anyone.

I'm a pretty secure person, so if a relationship starts making me feel insecure, I realize it's not good for me and get out.  I'm pretty good at recognizing when something is unhealthy. That's not to say that I won't sometimes sleep with the guy later anyway, after knowing it's unhealthy.  Sometimes I will.  But in those cases, I'm going in with open eyes and it's no biggie.[/quote]

I agree with most of this. Some people (both men and women) just will not let go of one branch until they've got hold of another. I don't think it's fair or healthy, but I also think from their mindset, they assume everyone else does it too. To them, if someone leaves a relationship without their next "opportunity" in mind, if not locked down, that relationship must be absolutely horrendous or abusive or something. Otherwise, you'd just stay until/unless you saw if someone better turned up, because being in a relationship you're happy in is best, but being in one that only mildly dissatisfying is better than being alone. [/quote]

I never thought about it this way, but you're right, PP. The stringing along can be subtle--they're there but not quite there. They always have excuses that seem reasonable. They go along with things to some degree, but in key ways they don't initiate things. That's something to watch for. What's tough is that they won't necessarily admit to themselves that they're stringing you along, so you have to trust your gut.[/quote]

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