Reply to Polite way to say no to in-law visit?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If your parents were wanting to visit under the same circumstances would you be fine with your husband telling them they should not?[/quote]

Not op. PP life is not FAIR. Only children adhere to this immature everything-must-be-tit-for-tat-in-our-families mentality. You seem to pop up with this craziness in every post about in laws. My guess is you are a mil or fil who feel your children must give you exactly the same amount of facetime as the other in laws. No. People are different. Some are wonderful and some are unbearable. There is no "law" that things have to be equal. [/quote]

Not a FIL or MIL yet ...... but have been happily married for more than 25 years. One of the criteria I have used in dealing with in-laws and others  is to consider how I would feel if the shoe were on the other foot.

Nothing to do with tit for tat but the surest way to undermine a relationship is to treat your in-laws, step children, etc in a way that you would not want your own parents or children treated. It applies to every facet of life although it can be hard to do in practice.

When my children marry I will tell them the very same thing - my daughter should never treat her in-laws in a way that she would not treat her parents. Whether she will follow my advice is a different matter, of course.[/quote]

You should always treat people with kindness, respect and the benefit of the doubt...but you cannot treat them THE SAME. My parents and my in laws are very different people. They are all nice, well-meaning and generally helpful, but they are not the same...it would literally be impossible to treat them the same way. [b]Treat them with equal care and respect, yes, but not THE SAME.[/quote][/b]
I think we know that is what pp meant!![/quote]

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