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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I have a friend who has a significant learning disability, plus some other things that are undiagnosed I am sure.

He has found the most success in networking groups for the learning disabled, places like Toastmasters, and groups where they share mutual interests.

While these things don't necessarily equate to dates, he's found that the more his time is filled, the less loneliness he experiences and the less "out of synch with normal people" he feels.

He's asked me what I think about online or speed dating before, and I've been honest: these places are competitive and hard enough for [b]"normal"[/b] folk. He's better to find someone with mutual passion to develop something with. At the least, he's out pursuing his passions, rather an sitting alone, swiping profiles on tinder that will never get him a bite. [/quote]

Please tell me you didn't tell your friend this. Don't insinuate that your friend isn't normal. That's a rude word to use.[/quote]

PP here.. I probably didn't use the word normal - I did here because it Was the fastest way to convey the conversation and it's all that came to my mind as I spent 20 seconds typing up my reply.

That being said, friend himself identifies as "not normal" or "not like everyone else". He knows he's not playing on the same field as most of the pack - whether that's at work, school, on social playing field. Heck, he has to live every day, navigating sociial situations his brain doesn't process Properly.  And he knows it. He doesn't want me to candy coat, so I don't. That's why we have been friends for 20 years. His parents filled him with a lot of unrealistic puppies and rainbows when he was young, even failing to seek out a proper diagnosis for him  as a child because he was "unique and special". He doesn't appreciate anyone blowing sunshine for his sake, because he misses the social cues later on based on what he's been told. He likes harsh reality becaus then he actually understands a situation going into it, rather than having a messed up perception.

Why would I set him up for failure? That's not what friends do. Sometimes being a caring friend is not being falsely nice. It might look like someone being brutally honest so that someone who does not have the ability to judge a situation for themselves at least goes in with the necessary tools.

So, if I told him to go for online dating just to be nice, I'm sending him in to get eaten alive, or completely up for disappointment. Online IS hard for everyone - it would be hell on earth and downright heartbreaking for someone with poor social development. [/quote]

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