Reply to Max out on 401k or pay off student loans?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]Our names are both on the mortgages for both houses.

Are both your names on the deeds to each of the properties?  [/quote][/quote]

Yes[/quote]

That is good, it sounds like you are 90 percent of the way to joint finances.

I agree that you should do what you can to pay off you student loans as soon as possible without compromising your retirement contributions.  I personally would look at your budget realistically as a couple, not as individuals that contribute proportionally to shared expenses.  All expenses, including his car and your loans, are joint costs of the family unit as is all income and what is the best way to support paying off the debt with the family HHI.  That does not mean you do not have individual accounts, you probably do and you use discretionary money on expenses but the higher earned does not necessarily get more discretionary income.

I think it is disruptive to a marriage if you have a yours and mine entitlement attitude.  Everything is not always equal but everyone's contributions are equally valued.  Right now I make slightly more than my DH and there have been times we made the same or he made a bit more.  I expect there will be a times when he makes a lot more but it really does not matter.  We also bring different skills and contributions to the marriage and if at some point we decide that I work part time for best outcome for our family it would be because my contributions outside of my paycheck also are valued.  There would be no option where he as a matter of higher earning power is entitled to spend more discretionary income because of disparities in our paychecks.  That does not mean everything is always equal but major expenditures are jointly decided upon.  For example, if I were single I would not spend a couple of thousand dollars a year on Nats tickets. But we do because they are important to DH and I think they are a good family outing (many games neither I nor our children attend).  We looked at whether we could afford them, not whether he could.

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