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[quote=Anonymous]Parent to both an OE kid and a DE kid.  We used a clinic donor at an out of state clinic.  Most of the donor pool didn't have college degrees - some were attending college (they are very young after all) and some weren't.  We picked a donor who had pretty good SAT scores and who gave the impression of being a nice, kind person who was also intelligent, regardless of education level.  Her family health history was great.  She was taking community college classes here and there.  Husband and I both have Ivy undergrad and grad degrees.

OE child is very bright.  I hate even saying what I'm about to say because I do *not* compare my kids, but in the interest of answering OP's question:  DE child is as smart as OE child.  Maybe smarter.  Both are basically the best kids in the world as far as we're concerned, so that's really what matters.  Both are sweet, affectionate, social, headstrong (!), but just really great kids.

To put this into context, my sib is very smart.  Also an alcoholic who has had drug issues, suicidal tendencies, deep depression and anger issues.  In my sib's case, intelligence hasn't been the key to a better life.  Sib isn't the only person in my family with possible addiction and mental health issues, and it has occurred to me that it may not be a bad thing that our DE child doesn't have that part of my genetic history.

Whether you're looking at having a child "the old fashioned way", or a child with donor assistance, or adopting, you get what you get.  You really don't have a lot of control.  It's a tough thing to come to terms with.  People who don't have to face giving up the genetic connection probably don't think about or worry about this the way we do.

My advice is go for whatever option you're comfortable with that will get you a child, if you're really sure that the child-free option isn't for you at this point.[/quote]

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