Reply to Should a parent be present for health physical appointment for early teen (14 year appointment)

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Very valid reasoning. My own DD had me accompanying her until 18 when I finally said enough. After a year in college and a steady BF she was more than willing to go to her gyno appointment alone. She said later after a vaginal sonogram she would have liked company. So I think it's best to ask and then abide by the patient's wishes. My daughter never had a problem answering the sex drugs and depression questions in front of me. [b]Wouldn't you want to know the answers?[/b] I get that some might not be honest but I didn't have that relationship with my daughter.[/quote]

I'm 18:42. Yes, but more than I would like to know the answers I would like my child to get the answers and the discussion and the information she needs. I (would like to) think we have the sort of relationship where she is comfortable talking to me about anything, but, frankly, I doubt it and that might be good. I think it's healthy for teens to have people in their lives to talk to other than their parents, and even to be able to explore certain topics and questions with trustworthy people who are not their parents.

Growing up (until I was 21) I would have said that I was comfortable talking to my mom about anything and had no secrets from her nor wanted any. But, looking back, what that really meant was I was only comfortable [i] thinking about, considering, or asking[/i] things I thought my mother would agree with and approve of, not just with respect to medical stuff but in life in general. That did me no favors, and even though I've tried to raise my dd slightly differently than I was raised that is not something I want to risk for her. My mom attended all doctor's appointments with me through college, even though there were times I didn't want her there and things I had the vague feeling I should maybe be asking but wouldn't have dreamed of saying in front of her... and the end result was that I knew some things were wrong but didn't bring them up with a doctor until my mid-20's and I was terrified to go to the doctor on my own once I started my adult life.

Every kid seems to say they would talk to their parents about anything... but would they, and would they want to?

In your case you would abide by your child's wishes, so I'm not saying you would be the same situation I had, but that's my answer for why I believe so strongly in always asking if my child wants me to step out (starting as young as the dr. would allow, although she didn't accept until a few years later). My mother never asked/offered, and at first it didn't occur to me that it was an option to have her step out and later I didn't know how to ask.[/quote]

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