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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It doesn't sound like he needs a social skills class, [b]he needs to learn to manage his impulses.  [/b]That's tough, as a PP noted, because his frontal lobe isn't well developed.  And, even after he matures, he may still have impulse issues well into his 30s.  My DH did.

My advice for meals is to get him a wiggle seat http://www.amazon.com/Isokinetics-Brand-Exercise-Balance-Cushion/dp/B000WQ4Z7Q.  Our meal times are so much quieter.  It provides enough movement our kids' needs are met but not so much movement that they're disruptive.

I also second the advice to work with a skilled psychiatrist on medication management.  You don't say who prescribed the ADHD medication but you need to work with someone who has expertise.  And, don't be afraid to try a med that you didn't get good results from before.  Metabolism changes over time and if you haven't worked with an expert before, you need to be willing to try some of them again.

It sounds like your DS may benefit from more exercise - and it's an excellent consequence for unacceptable behavior.  When my DS is annoying his siblings (or me) like your DS is annoying his sister, I immediately make him take the dog for a walk.  He needs to respect 'no' and respect boundaries.  When he's not able to control his impulses or know when to stop, you need to impose boundaries.  Before he was old enough to walk the dog alone, I'd make him jump on the rebounder for X times.  If he was still out of control, I'd send him outside (no matter the weather).  This has really made a huge difference.  Not only do the rest of us get a break, DS gets consequences for his actions that aren't punitive or crushing and he learns things that can help him get back 'in control'.  We talk a lot about 'in control' and 'out of control'[/quote]

Social skill groups can help kids do this.  (Agree with pretty much everything else.)[/quote]

Thank you, PP, for the sound advice.

This is our fourth med and the only one that has worked to calm his body down.  However, the psychiatrist very clearly told us it will not work on his lack of motivation (for school or to obey us at times). It helps only with the hyperactivity. So far every med we tried either did not help enough or it sapped the joy and life out of him to the point where he didn't even want to play with anyone. i hate that we can't find the right med.

As far as social skills groups go, he was in stepping stones for a while. They said out of all the children in his group, he was the only one who seemed to exhibit any empathy toward other children. Thus, I was given the impression the other children were behind him developmentally or emotionally (perhaps ASD, I'm not sure). I honestly did not see one bit of improvement in him throughout the social skills class or afterward, and we had done a couple of groups.

As far as exercise goes, it works….like a charm. We consulted with Dr. Lucy Miller a few yrs back who advised him to get vigorous movement before and after school. We provided that and it did help to calm his body, help improved his focus and attention too. However, he's older now and it's hard to make him do anything he doesn't want to do. He's not sporty and doesn't much like to ride bikes or run. If I could get him in some kind of movement he enjoys, I think it would help him.

I read that in Europe children are much less likely to be on ADHD medication than in the US. Why is this the case? Apparently in Europe, children are mandated to try to behavioral program BEFORE meds can be considered. With most children, the behavioral program works well enough that meds are not even tried. Why isn't this approach tried here in the US?

I would like to learn more about this and see if it might work for my son. [/quote]

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