Reply to WAPO piece from adoptive mom to teacher

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm surprised she emphasizes how she raises her kids to [i]be honest[/i] and [i]proud of who they are[/i]...

And then she apparently never told the teacher they were adopted?

I'm the white mom of Asian kids and I would absolutely not omit this when I chatted with the teacher the first time. I'm also not pissy about it in general and am happy to answer people's questions instead of automatically lashing out and wrecking my relationships over it. I deal with it all the time, but for others, this is a new thing.

It's not fair to expect everyone in the world to know an automatic, diplomatic way to communicate about every single type of family/child out there. It's ridiculous to expect strangers to protect your feelings -- go to therapy and work it out there. Don't look for the world to provide trigger warnings and just somehow "know" what to say to you![/quote] But we are talking about teachers.  And adoption is not uncommon.  Shouldn't teachers know how to discuss?

And there is a difference from teaching your kids to be honest and proud of who they are without also insisting that they violate their privacy if that's not what they want to do.

And, to PP about people already knowing not to say 'real parent'.  Um...no.  People say crazy things.  I have had a person ask me, in front of my child, why didn't his real mom want him and give him away.[/quote]

Kindergarten teachers don't necessarily see white moms of Asian almost-same-age-boys ever before getting them in class. Heck, many K teachers are young women who are passionate and caring teachers, but who may have taught for 5-10 years and never had an adoptee at all in class.

This attitude we're developing as a culture in America that "how dare a stranger say something unpolished to me that I then found sooo offensive!" is crazy. Taking offense at everything instead of using it as an opportunity to educate someone new is crazy. The things this mom is reacting to in her letter are things others, who are less insecure and don't need to read offense into every interaction -- would not bat an eye at. And would address in an honest way. In what way is telling a teacher my kids are adopted "violating their privacy"? That's (wait for it) CRAZY.[/quote]

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