Reply to Coming to grips with longterm relationship ending... why so hard?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Whoa, though I'll admit that zero sex in the last year is a pretty deep draught and sometimes you just have to suck it up and think of England.  What does the sex therapist say about a year with no sex -- is that okay to them?[/quote]

No of course sex therapist agreed that it's not good. But you know how therapists are, they aren't out to judge anyone so the therapist tried to remain fair and balanced. Even my partner knows and admits lack of sex isn't healthy for our relationship. But we've been very honest with each other. She knows I don't want pity sex and I know she doesn't really have desire to do it either. But again PPs responding here, this isn't just about the lack of sex. I mentioned lack of her communicating my love languages (i.e., words of affirmation too). I have made a concerted effort to give her quality time and acts of service (us moving in together and me becoming less a bachelor and more a chore doer who goes above and beyond in cleaning the house etc etc that I wouldn't have cared one bit about when living alone). Again I'm not saying I'm all right and she's all wrong. I'm just saying I don't quite get why she would continue in the relationship if she knows that no healthy relationship can go on as ours is.[/quote]

I have to say, over the course of this thread, you seem to be absolutely rooted in "this is how it is, I want what I want" (an answer to why she's not worried or in a hurry to marry you).  I wonder if that might be turning her off?  Maybe she has tried adjusting herself to what you need, having sex with you even if she's not into it and it just is "pity sex" at this point, and she just feels like she can't do it anymore?  She can't force herself to be attracted to you again and she can't tie herself into a pretzel to make you happy.

That's kind of the vibe I get.

I think you need to work on being less of a "It's my way or the highway" person in relationships, or I suspect this relationship pattern will repeat itself in the future. [/quote]

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