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[quote=Anonymous]OP here. Thanks for all the replies.

I am hoping that my "real dad" has made a provision for me in his will. It would be a gesture, no matter how small, that would be much appreciated and would grant me the option of accepting it or letting the family he has known retain it.

The difficulty would come if I wasn't named in the will. Yes, I would feel discarded again (by him). As I mentioned, German law of forced inheritance would grant me a share of the estate, if I wished to make a claim. I believe (from German friends here, who could put me in touch with a local lawyer) that it is a straightforward process. If I did pursue that, it would not be out of spite. I bear no malice towards my half-siblings and my dad's widow (in fact, I don't have any feelings, other than sympathy, for them). I would just seek what German law enshrines as my father's responsibility towards me - even if it posthumous. He and his family would have been well aware of this

DH and I look at our darling children and cannot comprehend how a parent can shut children out of their life. My youngest is the same age as I was when my dad left. If I did pursue a claim it would be for them - as far as I am aware they are his only grandchildren, yet he showed no interest in them. I really hope it doesn't come to this, but I would be inclined to make a claim if I am not mentioned in the will.

Forgive me for just speculating at this stage, but my feelings are so confused and I still hold out hope that I won't have to make this decision and that my dad's final gesture to me was one of thoughtfulness.

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