Reply to How do you deal with a situation that is affecting you but its really none of your business?

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Reply to "How do you deal with a situation that is affecting you but its really none of your business?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You can't control other people, you can only control you. Expect the SILs boys to maintain the same standards of behavior as the rest of the family (once those have been explained of course) and then enforce them. If SIL cries to BIL oh well. And if he gets upset just stay calm yourself and say you of course you love the. And want them there as long as they comport with the general expectations.

Your BIL and SIL are being unreasonable and manipulative in their behavior to the detriment of everyone else.  Stop making excuses and accommodating it.[/quote]

And, yet, at the same time I can see how this sort of arrangement - going to a new stepdad's, brother's , in-law's house would be...daunting to a couple of awkward little boys.  [/quote]

True, but that's why you do it in a firm but kind way. Reward positive behavior, consistently enforce rules, and stay calm. It's pretty much the recipe for dealing with any children. It can be tougher to feel like you have the right to that role with other people's kids, but in this case it seems warranted.  And in a strange way I think this can actually be easier to do with other people's kids because they don't push the same buttons your own kids do so it's easier to stay calm.

Decide on your own rules and boundaries and calmly enforce them. Yes BIL and SIL may choose to leave in that situation and that is their choice to make. Again you can't control that, you can only control your own decisions and actions.[/quote]

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