Reply to How do you deal with a situation that is affecting you but its really none of your business?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I would hang out with your nieces as much as possible under the guise of "aunt-niece" time. I wouldn't focus so much on "girl time" unless you want the new stepmom along, which the girls may not. How close were you to the nieces when their mom was alive? Would it feel contrived for them that you suddenly want to hang out?[/quote]
I am very close with our nieces. They spend a great deal of time with our family. I do feel like they need even more attention now, it feels like they are a bit neglected just because the two boys require so my effort and attention.

[quote=Anonymous]As for the new stepsons -- eh. So they're fat and play video games all day -- why does that bother you and your family? Continue on with your day as planned. If everyone was going to the beach that day -- announce that and kindly invite them along, if they don't want to step away from the TV, their loss (and frankly your nieces may have a better time going with your fam anyway). Same for meals -- have whatever everyone was planning on having, and if their mom wants to whip up mac and cheese at every meal, great for her.[/quote]
It is rough though, because their mom complains that they aren't included. Or if you ask them to stop playing games at the table they will have a huge meltdown, complete with screams and throwing things from the other room while you are trying to eat.

[quote=Anonymous]I'm also not seeing why farting is such a big deal? Don't all boys and many men fart all the time? Were they doing it on purpose? How about you give them no attention for it?[/quote] Well, I'm not sure if its just the males I know but no, they do not audibly fart and belch all the time. Especially in church or at the dinner table.

[quote=Anonymous]I wonder what stepmom and boys are really like. If they haven't have a true family life, they may not know how to behave around you, their stepdad, and the new big family -- so they may behave in a way that they know will get them attention - negatively. If they/their mom WANT to be part of a family, there's the possibility of a real Brady Bunch type of thing where everyone comes together. If it's clear that's not what they want -- then focus on your nieces and your own fam and ignore them.[/quote]

I like my new SIL, I feel badly that she allows her boys to run her. It also is not the boys fault that they were raised this way. It is just very hard because we are a close extended family and we do a lot of family things. BIL was excited when their family blended because he said it had just been SIL and her boys for years. Everyone was welcoming and accommodating to them in the beginning but not so much anymore. There needs to be give and take on both sides.

I agree it must be tough. All the grandkids/nieces/nephews are active and not really into video games to such an extreme. So they are all outside playing/swimming/hiking this summer and these boys were inside with just each other. So needless to say none of them get along very well.[/quote]

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