Reply to 5-yr-old daughter wants to be a boy

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[quote=Anonymous]Thanks parent of TT.  OP again.  Your insights our valuable.

I prefer not to give a blow-by-blow of our lives, but it has been more than occasional.  She doesn't seem in distress, but does the minute we leave school/camp/whatever, she does pretend play and I'd say about 85% of the time chooses a male character (Prince James or Diego or whomever) and assigns me the female role.  She tells me on a daily basis I'd say that when she grows up, she wants to be a boy/man.  We went through this whole thing where she wanted to stand up to pee before.  Clothing/dress is clearly not easy given the clothes handed down are very girl-normed so the older she gets, the more resistant she has become to things other than blue and she rejects most girly things/clothes.  Out in public she does declare, "I'M A BOY!" like at a recent trip to Target.  She has pondered aloud why God made her a girl and a mistake or something like that.

Everyday is different. It can be scary and lonely and new and strange.  If it is trendy, please know it is not one I'm seeking.  I'm just trying to find other families navigating it too.  As mentioned, I have 2 acquaintances with children that are transgender.  Who would have imagined. Given my journey, I was put in touch through a mutual friend to one of the families. Neither are not local though.

I guess DCUM is what it is, but knowing so little of our lives, folks make huge assumptions.  #trendy. Yes, that's what I want, my 5-year-old to refuse to wear dresses to church and to get upset when her teacher calls her pretty.  This isn't fun or easy and it is very public.  The idea that someday this young person might develop the language and certainty that she was born with the wrong parts and not want to be the strong woman I see in front of me scares me so much!  So know you come to a message board hoping for some help not for what can feel like quick judgement.  I'd like to laugh at the teletubbies and dogs and whatnot, but I think she uses animals as a way to channel gender choice or identity.  She does not know who Jenner is or any other trans folks.  I am not modeling this for her.  But spend a couple hours with her and it is apparent.

Thanks so much for the numbers.  Will try again.

I am not trying to diagnose and treat her as transgender and don't think I used that word to describe her.  I guess given your medical analogy, perhaps it is like a rash that I don't know.  I didn't experience exema or asthma or whatever (spelling) and I am not sure what wheezing sounds like so I want to learn more given my kid has "reactive airways."  What will that be if later it is ASTHMA?  What does she need now?  Why is she coughing so much in April? What can I do (beyond the basics) to ensure she has healthy airways?  #whatever. I'm not trying to check her in, just trying to better understand perhaps we are still figuring out.  Thanks again TT parent.[/quote]

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