Reply to Once a Cheater, Always a Cheater?

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Reply to "Once a Cheater, Always a Cheater?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think it depends. DH cheated on his GF in his mid-20's. It was a really toxic relationship and yet another sign they should have broken up. But he learned his lesson and feels very guilty about it now. I doubt today he would cheat. (He couldn't even go on a first date with me at the same week as going on a first date with someone else. He just couldn't handle 2 women at the same time, even for a first date.)

But there are some people (not just men) who cheating is just in their blood. Some do it even when things are good in their primary relationship, just because they can. Others do it because things are bad in their primary relationship but they cant or wont get out of it. [/quote]

I don't buy the "it was a toxic relationship" excuse.  He could've broken up with her first.  And in fact, that is the kind of mental gymnastics cheaters play to justify their actions.  There's always some reason that makes it kind of okay because, hey, the other person wasn't perfect either.

Cheating isn't okay if the relationship you are in is bad.  It is still cheating.  And in fact, it shows an unwillingness to deal appropriately with conflict in a relationship.  Obviously, he could "handle 2 women at the same time" because he cheated on a past girlfriend.  Perhaps he was just overcompensating with the story he gave you about dating two women in the same week.

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