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[quote=Anonymous]Agree.  Sad to say.  I've known a lot of cheaters, and even when they are caught and face consequences, it still doesn't stop them the next time.  And they aren't even horrible people.  That's what has me convinced that it is one of those habits that for the most part won't go away.

My first boyfriend cheated on me.  He wasn't a bad guy.  He was nice.  We broke up and even dated again later in life.  But from what he told me, he pretty much cheated on every girlfriend he had.  He liked having a girlfriend/partner.  But he had a wandering eye.  So his conclusion was as long as the girlfriend never finds out, no one gets hurt.  So he got better and better and better at covering his tracks.

We broke up the second time but remained friends.  He cheated on his next girlfriend -- and he was with her for years.  She never knew.  He's married now, and I have no doubt that he cheats on his wife.  I also have no doubt that she's clueless because he doesn't *seem* like a bad guy.

He is only one example.  I've known others (as friends).  And the thing is that the cognitive dissonance that allows someone to cheat even when they love the person their cheating on never goes away.  They've figured out a way to compartmentalize their actions.  And I don't think -- with the exception of really horrible consequences and years of therapy -- that that ever goes away.

The cheaters I've known have been different types of personalities.  But what they all had in common was a high sex drive, a strong need for variety, and a way of morally justifying/compartmentalizing infidelity.  Even the ones who made a concerted effort not to cheat failed when opportunity presented itself.

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