Reply to mama drama (narcissistic personality disorder edition)

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
No, no, no.

Everything you do in relation to your mother has to be 100% in your control. You pay, you get a hotel, you eat out, you do NOT depend on her for anything. The decisions that you offer her control over will be decisions that you don't care about - "shall we have Chinese or Indian for dinner?" for example.

So now either you pay and are fine with it, or you don't go and are fine with it. The crucial thing is that you have to be fine with it, and radiate that feeling to her.

This is how it works with cruel, torturing parents. You disengage from them emotionally. All their nasty jabs and blackmail are water off a duck's back. Your strength doesn't depend on her, but from your inner self, where she cannot reach.

Can you tell I've been there?[/quote]

Yes! I was dying to write it but PP got there first.  Like an ancient myth, you must eat nothing they offer and accept no gift. Come on, I'm sure you have experienced the cycle of pain many times by now. 
I sympathize OP. It was a special weird and difficult to know the difficult and abusive narcissist had failing health. It isn't like you will get any resolution. They are locked into their pattern, to the death.[/quote]

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