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Reply to "DH wants to cut ties with his family, support or no?"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't understand why a card sent a few times a year, and an occasional phone call of 10min to discuss the weather is so hard (no reason to go to any holiday dinners)[/quote] PP whose DH cut off his mother here. This is how I thought at first, and it is the mark of a person with a relatively normal family. What I've observed is, when your life is open to a problem family member (as notes and phone calls imply), the stress is constant because you never know when they may call or email and bring it all back up for you. The thing about cutting people off (whether you do it dramatically or just by disappearing) is then they stop taking up so much of your mental space, which is what really makes it possible for you to heal. For some, setting boundaries like you describe may work, but if OP's DH is talking cutting them off, it hasn't worked. [/quote]
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