Reply to Do private school students have more confidence than public school students?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OK, so my kid goes to a private school and here is what I notice (note: it is not an exclusive private school).  The students are expected to dress professionally. They wear ties and button down shirts beginning in third grade.  For this reason, they are just more comfortable dressing professionally when they start working. It's second nature.

Next, the teachers all greet the boys with a handshake and a proper introduction when they see them in the hallways.  Hello Mr. Larlo, how are you today?  This just makes them more used to professional greetings.

Last, the boys are given more freedom and respect from the teachers.  They are treated like young men.  There are fewer sets of strict rules in the privates, less supervision of the playground, and higher expectations for good behavior.  The kids seem to generally rise to the challenge and the expectations.

I am sure that the more exclusive schools do have kids that are exposed to more professional situations, country clubs, etc.  But even in the ones where that is not the norm, there seems to be a difference.

In my experience, the education was as good or high in MCPS, but the extracurriculars (arts, music, sports, etc.) are MUCH better in the privates -- except for perhaps, drama.[/quote]

I really do not like this practice or behavior at all. I have so many friends who fall into this at both public and private, though I would say it's a bit more pronounced with my private school friends, all of whom practice and appreciate this are high HHI. What it teaches, IMO, is action and repetition without feeling. It's following rules and a set of social norms meant to attract other privileged people.

For example, I really hate talking to someone I've just met at a party and their kid comes out and this person introduces us, usually fumbling around for my last name, and usually getting it wrong since I kept my birth name. They are robotic. Also, I hate talking to friends and then they interrupt our conversation to make their young kid say hello. It is forced and frankly I much prefer when that same kid comes up to me to show me a picture they've taken on their phone because they want to show me specifically.

I do think it's fine to teach kids not to mumble when someone greets them, and to greet friends. But, I don't think wearing a tie has any inherent value; heck there was an article in the Times yesterday about how many Zappos employees had tatoos and none of them were in suits. So, I don't find that useful even in terms of future employment.

I'd much rather my kids learn empathy than this false respect. I'd much rather them have confidence because they had to overcome a hurdle. I also really believe in kindness and being present to people you interact with, like an employee at a store. That's what galls me. How often do people insist on their kids greeting adults who "matter" but then won't have the courtesy to get off the phone or look someone as they exit a garage or return a package to say thank you. That I insist on with my kids. Oprah had a big thing on this.

I'm sure many will disagree, but another consideration for you. [/quote]

[insert the gif of Orson Wells as Charles Foster Kane]
Right on, PP. This is very well said.[/quote]

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