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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm about to turn 54 and I suddenly feel very sad.  My dh is at the end of the bed doing push ups and Dumbbells.   He's lost weight such that his wedding band keeps flying off.  I on the other hand have all sorts of health issues, keep gaining weight, have abandoned exercise (Heath concerns have interfered), am addicted to refined carbs and weigh 30 lbs too much.   We have an adopted special needs child who is a lot of work although she's a sweet child.   My parents are both deceased.  My work is low pay and deadend.  I have a few masters degrees. I don't have solid friendships   They are more surface relationships.  I'm in therapy.  His and and I are in therapy.  Feeling stuck.  No family.  Any advice from anyone whose been here? I know changing my diet and focusing on my we'll be my would help.  Was supposed to celebrate tomorrow w dinner and a comedy club.  Sitter just cancelled due to death in the family. Subs aren't available.     Deep sigh.   Thanks. [/quote]

OP, I am thinking of you.  I saw your post yesterday and it resonated with me but didn't have time to write until now.  I've been through some similar issues, hitting middle age, addiction to refined carbs, career stagnation, only surface friendships, no family nearby, and giving so much of myself to my son that I became a shell of my former self.  Unlike your situation, DH is less motivated than me in terms of diet and exercise, but he is more motivated when he sees me doing more.  Several of the PPs gave good advice.  Here are some things that worked for me.

Create a list of time obligations and cross as many off your list as possible so that you create bubbles of free time (sometimes we just have a Netflix show and pick up takeout instead of going out for an entire evening and having to get child care).  If you are not getting enough sleep, keep adjusting your bedtime by going to bed 15 minutes earlier than the previous day.  Keep doing this until you wake up without an alarm clock with 2 hours of extra time in the morning.

If muscle and joint issues contribute to your difficulties exercising (for me it was the knees), try physical therapy.  I went first thing in the morning on Saturdays for about 8 weeks.  Previously I was not able to walk down stairs without leaning heavily on the bannister.  The physical therapist got me doing knee exercises and taking a spin class at the gym.  Over the next 18 months I lost 3 dress sizes and felt much better in all aspects of life and my work responsibilities have increased significantly.  I am not too familiar with Graves and the other conditions you named, but hoping that you can find some type of gentle exercise that would work for you.

I am still working on the lack of family/close friendships part.

In terms of eating, I started using the My Fitness Pal app for all food and exercise.  That made me gradually substitute away from things like pizza with extra cheese and sausage to gluten free pasta with black beans and marinara.  I started baking a few gluten free vegan breakfast cookies from the Minimalist Baker site, and keeping extra in the freezer.  I also substituted chick pea flour for regular wheat flour in those recipes.

I wish I could be your friend in real life and we could support each other, but I will come here and check on you from time to time![/quote]

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