Reply to Frustrated with my husband's health choices

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[quote=Anonymous]Any advice? YES. Quit bugging your husband. He will just wind up hating you. Your husband is hiding his addiction from you so you'll quit nagging him and thinking he's a failure.

The best thing you can do for your husband is to quietly encourage healthier eating and exercise habits. If he's still hungry after dinner, then he's not being fed enough (no, I'm not blaming you - boys and men eat an astonishing amount of food). Go easy on the carbs but give him twice the protein and veggies. You're probably making dinners that you want to eat or think are healthy. But your husband probably wants pot roast, pork chops, and other hearty meals. These foods do not have to be unhealthy.

You say you make your husband healthy snacks. Give him something that he likes and that will fill him up - hard boiled eggs, pita and hummus, a nice salad with protein and cheese, whatever works for him. You didn't mention breakfast. Make sure he has something filling (e.g., oatmeal) that doesn't involve sugar.

In terms of exercise, you might suggest that you two take a nightly walk around the neighborhood - as a bonding experience, not exercise. You can set a brisk pace. Maybe (although unlikely) he enjoys dancing. That would be something fun to do together. There has to be something he'd enjoy (tennis, racquetball, ...), especially with someone else.

You could also (gently) tell him inspirational stories of how baby steps can really improve your health. For instance, I started working out on a treadmill 15 minutes each day. That's it - you probably think that's pathetic. But it's had a dramatic impact on my blood pressure, way more than I could have imagined. I bet it would improve your husbands glucose levels as well. I would have started earlier if I had known that such a small effort would have such a big impact.

I know that this is frustrating and that you feel like you shouldn't have to indulge your husband like this. But this is the give and take of marriage. If you really want him to change, then you'll have to be supportive, not critical. I can almost guarantee that if you continue to convey the impression that your husband is a flawed, selfish human being with no will power that it will seriously undermine your marriage. I wish you the best.[/quote]

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