Reply to SIL lost baby at 20 weeks, we were due 2 weeks apart

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Reply to "SIL lost baby at 20 weeks, we were due 2 weeks apart"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Treat it the same way you would treat it if he child died after birth.  It's a death of a child.  It should be treated with the same gravity.

I think sending condolences now is a must.  In the future, you could send her a longer note about how sorry you are she's had such a wretched thing happen.  Acknowledge that you realize your own pregnancy might make things awkward and that that's ok.  You will follow her lead moving forward.  Tell her [b]you love her,[b] you are thinking of her, and that [b]you loved her baby.[/b]

And then stop being a brat and take whatever she dishes.  She's been through hell.[/quote]

But SIL is neither OP's sister or a friend. It's pretty clear from OP's post that the women aren't close and both are aware of that lack of closeness. Under the circumstances, to tell the woman she loves her and her baby would appear to SIL that OP is acting disingenuously, at the very least.

Also, I don't believe taking what people dish at you, unless you deserve the mistreatment through some action of your own. OP did not cause SIL's loss so I don't think she should put up with SIL acting out (if she, in fact, does). People aren't punching bags. [/quote]

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