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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You are bring incredibly narcissistic, but deluding yourself that honesty is a beautiful thing instead of a selfish, self-serving thing.

What are your expectations or hopes, OP? That he will save a piece of himsrlf for you, to the detriment of his marriage (and yours)? To sabotage his efforts with his wife? Are you concerned that if he re-commits to his wife, you will lose his attention?

To be a real friend to him, you need to be a friend to his marriage. Period.

Snap out of this "beautiful thing" s**t, that's fantasy land.
You don't want him to leave his wife to be with you, because you are married. It sounds like you want to keep the status quo, which is just selfish.

It's normal to have those feelings and deal with them privately, but the height of narcissism to act on them.[/quote]

This is the OP.  Thank you for this clarity because my head is swimming.  What's the least selfish way to end this - slowly fade, silent treatment (except for work), wish him the best but no talk of myself?  This whole relationship has been selfish so I'm not sure the best way to right the ship at this point.  Thx.[/quote]

You can do the slow fade, and if he confronts you (since it sounds like you've been having an emotional affair)  then you can tell him that you want to be a friend of his marriage and support his reconciliation, and realize that the nature of the friendship you shared might detract from his marriage, and hurt your own as well.  dobt engage in an intense back and forth with him about it as if is up for debate. And stick to your guns.

Kudos to you for not reacting to these posts defensively, and being open to feedback.[/quote]

^^ meant to say: don't engage in a back and forth with him as if it's up for debate.[/quote]

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