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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]just a general question to all - But do you ever TALK to your kids?

I am always chatting with my daughter and her friends.  always

I get the scoop on everyone, and we dig deeply into other issues, too.

Take a walk.  Take a drive.  Go for coffee or ice cream.

I don't understand how kids suddenly change. They don't - unless, God forbid, something terrible happens.

Be proactive and look for signs.[/quote]

I think this is a good point.  A mistake I have made, and perhaps others have as well, is to be too action oriented.  That is, I know there is a problem, and I want to focus all attention on that problem and solve it so everyone can move on..

IME this can work with younger kids but can be very counter-productive with teens.  Sometimes you are much better off ignoring the elephant in the room and going about daily life as though it does not exist.

This frees you up to chat about this or that, inquiring after friends, talking about what happened in the office, or what is happening in the world.  Enough of this and eventually your child will still letting out bits and pieces of what is bothering him or her.  Then you have to resist the temptation to go full bore.

Many things simply need more time and patience than we think.[/quote]

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