Reply to I hate being married and a mom

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I feel bad even typing the subject bc I love my little baby to bits. But I hate being married. I like my DH ok- he's a fun person but if I had a do over I wouldn't marry him. We are so incompatible.  I hate all the trade offs and compromises I have to make in marriage.  I love my little baby so much and have a hard time with motherhood. I miss sleeping in and keeping whatever schedule I want. People say live authentically - I don't know what my authentic self even looks like...is the authentic me a person who abandons her husband and child just so she can sleep in on the weekends and plan month-long yoga retreats?  The irony is that before I was married, I would pray to meet someone and get married.  Now I realize how dumb it was to want that so bad. I miss living in the city, keeping all my money, having my time to myself.  Now I'm a SAHM living so far from my authentic self, and I don't know how to find my way back.  Single gals, embrace it! I miss it. [/quote]

Did I write this?

I totally agree with you. I am stopping at one child and if I ever get divorced, I will not remarry.  If you are an attractive, financially independent woman, there is literally no reason to invite drama into your life by giving a man a legal hold on you.  Penis is free.  Also, I love my baby, but if I could redo motherhood, I would not.  Childbearing takes a far greater toll on women.  There are a lot of wives/mothers who feel the way we do.  I wish someone had been honest with me before I got married and had a child.[/quote]

Holy crap,pp. It definitely sounds like motherhood is not your cup of tea. But you are coming to that conclusion a little late, no? However, your particular attitude might not be best shared with a new mom who is in the throes of one of the biggest transitions life can throw at you, in a new place without a support network to boot.

To the OP,  don't despair. It gets better. You feel horrible about a lot of things, but as the other pp noted, take photos, lots and lots of them. Change your routine. Find new places and new people, find a mommy group. Refuse to throw in the towel and something will break for you. And above all, don't think about your relationship right now. As someone who has been ready to divorce since I was pregnant, I can now say that our youngest is three and the cloud is lifting. We are starting to have a relationship again. There really isn't any way around t)it, only through. And I would wager that nearly every mom who is not in some sort of cult goes through what you are feeling. Take solace, it is not you, its just a big phase. You can't really get out of it anyway, buy get creative to get through. Hope that helps. [/quote]

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