Reply to I'd like to hear from middle of the road parents with grown kids or older teens

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[quote=Anonymous]My child is 13. A big part of my adjustment in the last few years is allowing her to make mistakes, then offering her help on how to prevent them again. I don't berate or punish her for learning natural consequences. She got a D in math, which is usually her best subject. She didn't turn in assignments. We discussed the mistakes and ways to improve. I would have taken away a privilege when she was younger for a more immediate consequence. She was already upset about the grades, so I offered guidance only. She didn't make honor for the first time in a long time and that was upsetting to her.

She handles her own money. She prefers to spend, but is capable of saving.

Screen time is not limited. I would step in to add limits if her responsibilities were slipping. Loss of the phone for a few days is the ultimate punishment.

She manages her food intake generally. I remind her about fruits and vegetables. I have an eating disorder, so I leave most of this to her father.

She manages her interactions with her friends. I read text messages from time to time. I lived in a very bad neighborhood when I was a kid. I tell my child about the real risks of gang members and troubled kids. I saw a lot of kids destroy their lives or die due to their bad decisions.

We talk openly about sex. I encourage and answer questions honestly and without shame. We crack jokes about sex.

I will start the college conversation once she's in high school. [/quote]

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