Reply to Slow fading / Ghosting in long-term relationships

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. Thanks to everyone for the replies. 
I think that some of you have not read the post correctly because you seem to be under the impression that I have let him carry on with another woman and that I am putting up with too much. I ended it because of that. I didn't let him carry on with anything and I haven't out up with anything. I walked away. I have protected myself and I did actually mean it when I did actually walk away. I'm not sure, have I been unclear?
To the poster who is judging me by saying that he's not sure why I needed it spelt out : I 'm sorry you feel the need to phrase it in such a judgemental way. This is a man I have spent two years of my life with. I trust him. He's my friend. No, I don't just walk away because he's gone quiet. Yes, I do actually need a explanation and yes, I also deserve one. I'm sorry if you don't understand that but that's your issue, not mine.
Thank you everyone else for your answers.[/quote]

You didn't break up with him, he ghosted on you. You also found out he was carrying on with another woman and let him decide what he was doing. Do you see how you are passive? Being assertive is actually ending the relationship.[/quote]

No, I actually did break up with him. I'm still not sure how we're at crosswires here. By the time I realised that I had been getting less attention, less phone calls, less text messages and asked him about it two weeks had already passed. He reassured me that he was busy and that everything was fine, business as usual for another week until I felt it again. When I found out about the texting I asked for an explanation. He gave me one and do you know what? It's not a question of being passive, it's a question of him having to own what he wants. I had no intention of staying even if he said that he wanted me to. And yes, I did say that I was leaving and I did leave and I did actually mean it. Is that assertive enough for you?
But the fact that I was put in a difficult position and made the decision to walk away from someone I love doesn't mean that I'm not sad and disappointed and upset at having lost my friend and partner. That's why I am here. I'm not here to hear how I'm being passive and I should have done this and I should have done that. If I look at what you wrote, I should apparently have broken up with him before he ghosted on me. How does that go exactly? Why on earth would I have done such a thing? Are you even re-reading what you write before you post it. I am not perfect but I did handle it the best way I could. I'm just trying to understand what happened by asking if anyone here has had the same experience.

What I find annoying is this constant need to judge on these forums. Someone has actually written a whole post on that today and I understand where they are coming from. We can all benefit from some constructive criticism. Judging and belittling has no purpose.[/quote]

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