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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My 11-yo is the same. [quote]I wonder if it's even harder due to his race. [/quote]He's hyper, quirky, attention seeking, annoying, and a minority. We've made peace with the fact that that is who he is, and we will continue to encourage New friendship but will not be pushing it anymore.[/quote]

My guess is "no".  Kids do not see race, they just don't.  Not at that age.  They recognize if someone is a "different color", but that is where it ends.[/quote]

Kids definitely see race and black boys are stigmatized by the label "oppositional defiant" in far, far greater number than their white peers. The ADHD piece isn't acknowledged and incorporated into the school experience. Instead, black boys tend to be punished more for "bad behavior" rather than receive support.

DS who is AA and attends a Title 1 school has found a good place for himself at a predominantly white camp, where he has made friends easily. [b]Black masculinity is a complex, heavy burden that hits boys much younger than I ever imagined. [/b]

I tried linking him to coaches through a local Boys and Girls Club and it was a pretty awful experience. Same with DC Rec. So, this year, I sent him to a predominantly white camp that focuses on the outdoors with lots of team-building and physical work. He's tired and happy at the end of each day. It's been fabulous. I didn't intentionally set out to send him to a "white camp" it ended up that way. Since boys bond by doing (and girls bond by talking) I thought a really outdoorsy camp would be the answer. So far, so good.
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PP this is very interesting and insightful. Thank you for posting these thoughts. Kudos to you for persevering to find what seems to be an answer, at least for now. I have a question for you about the bold statement. Do you find that your DH and/or other male family members are well-equipped and ready to deal with this issue? It does seem to surface at a younger age for AA boys, as compared to many of their white counterparts, and I wonder how the men in his immediate life recognize and assist with this.[/quote]

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