Reply to Deciding to have a second child

Forum Index » Infants, Toddlers, & Preschoolers

Reply to "Deciding to have a second child"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm in the same boat as the OP so following this thread with interest. My DS will be 3 next month. We are at such a sweet spot--yeah, he's a toddler and has "toddler" days, but he is so much fun, he's potty trained, he's a great eater and sleeper, and I just love spending time with him. It's going to be really hard to go back to everything being "work" again--nursing and sleep and etc etc etc.

I'm also totally reluctant to be pregnant again. I hated pregnancy. I know it's for a finite time but it's really hard to make myself take the jump to actively seeking to get pregnant when I know I dislike being pregnant. Still, I remember lots of sweet, happy times on maternity leave with my DS, long walks every afternoon, watching him grow...and think, 'Yeah, we could do it again."

Another concern (not totally rational) I have is that I feel like we got so lucky with a healthy, fairly easy, NT child that we couldn't possibly get so lucky again and I'm scared of how we'd handle a child with health concerns or special needs. I know this isn't rational, but it worries me.

If we decide to go for #2, we're going to have to just make a leap of faith, I think. And our age gap would be morel like almost 4 to almost 5 years apart. [/quote]

This is almost exactly me -- except that I didn't mind pregnant with #1 but hated much of the first year because of the sleep deprivation, lots of reflux issues, etc.

I got pregnant with #2 the same month that #1 turned 3 and am expecting now.  THIS time the pregnancy IS really hard, which is something I hadn't contemplated much because the first was so easy.  I know it's only a relative "short" time period, but gosh, I am definitely feeling the pain as a result!  It's hard having a tough pregnancy and an older child to deal with.

As for your concerns about the health of a second baby, I hear this all the way.  I had a lot of anxiety issues that popped up after #1 was born -- fears that he had autism, CP, etc.  Some was fueled by real experiences and the responses of doctors (a few of them overly alarmist), but most of it was fairly irrational postpartum stuff.  He's now 3 and totally healthy, NT, etc.  But I definitely have this concern with #2 -- that we got so lucky with #1, so why "risk" it?

Ultimately, I know that this is my own anxiety talking and that it will work out.  If #2 has health problems or isn't NT, etc., we will deal with it just like we would have if #1 had.  It's a risk you always take, but choosing not to have another is also a risk if it's what you want and what you believe is right for your family.

Good luck with your decision!  I just wanted to say that I understand where you're coming from.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics