Reply to Deciding to have a second child

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We also had a really rough transition from 0-1.  ROUGH.  But I would say by 6 months it did get way better.

We always knew we wanted two and now with her at 18 months I can see how much she would benefit from a sibling.  She is a crazy ball of energy.

Just got pregnant and jumped into it. If I thought too much about it, I would not want to do it.  So we just rolled the dice and went with it.

I figure if I waited much longer, and she was potty trained and more independent, I would definitely not want to go through the newborn stage again so we just did it.

I have tons of anxiety now but it will all work out :)[/quote]

Ditto to all of this. We also had a rough transition but it started getting better at 6 months, and now DS, almost 19 months, is a joy. Ok, a crazy energetic exhausting joy, but he is so much fun. I am 8 weeks pregnant and really hoping it sticks because a 26 month age gap is perfect in my mind -- that's exactly the gap between me and my sister and we have always been very close. (DH and his brother are 16 months apart and also very close, but that was way, way too soon for me!)

I think if you want another kid you should go for it. Personally I don't want more than a 4 year gap between my kids, because I am not really a baby person and I enjoy DS more the older he gets. I would not want to have another baby right when he is 5 or older and we can finally do interesting activities like hiking. But I have heard others say differently so it's really up to you.

There is also no shame in deciding that you don't want another child after all, even if it's what you thought you wanted all along. If your kid is particularly difficult or you just feel like you're maxed out, then so be it. DH and I have relatively flexible jobs and although it was a big adjustment, we've been able to manage with DS. I know adding a second kid to the mix will be volatile and likely will upset the balance, but I think by 1-2 years in, we'll have reestablished it and will be ok. If your jobs aren't flexible or you're barely managing now, then it would be harder to have a second.[/quote]

This, but I wanted DS potty trained before having a second because we do cloth diapers and I didn't want to buy a second set. Also, I wanted to be done nursing. I actually hadn't stopped nursing but did shortly after. Glad we waited because I think DS will be a great big brother, and will be just under 3.5 years old when DC2 is born. Last, I kind of wanted to complete the big boy bed transition and have DS1 be just a little bit more independent by then.

Also, we had quit actively trying because life was stressing us out with lots of potential changes, and wouldn't you know that's when we got pregnant. :)[/quote]

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