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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I'm sorry you are in this predicament.  I'm a mom with a 6 and 8 year old, and my dad doesn't talk with me since half a year ago.  I will share his method as it seems to be effective, not engaging in a fight, and results-oriented in ending contact: His method was, simply, not to call and not to email, and to let his wife (my stepmother) respond to my emails on my behalf.  My dad never sent an email saying he was going to cut me off - he just "did" it.  [/quote]

The obvious question is "why would he do that?"  Like OP does, leaving that out leaves out everything.  Saying "I don't know" only means you shoukd find out why.

Cutting off all contact abruptly is kind of wierd and dysfunctional.  OP shouldn't be encouraged in it if she won't say why.[/quote]

I am cutting them off because of a childhood and young adulthood spent being abused by both of them. The thought of articulating this to them makes my skin crawl - even though I'm sure they *know* what they did. [/quote]

Obviously you feel justified but why the cut off NOW?  What is triggering this?

Here's the issue: cutting off is avoidant behavior which may sweep your issues under the rug only to crop up many years later.  If you were abused, have you been in therapy?   What does therapist recommend?[/quote]

I learned to tolerate abusive behavior because that was my normal. (a) Having a baby and (b) doing healing work have led me to this point. Therapists have been supportive, but I don't think an outside opinion on this matter is more important than my own. We would never compel anyone to keep an abusive spouse/friend/coworker in their life, nor expect an explanation outside of "They were abusive" - why, then, must I justify wanting to cut them off?

Not cutting them off/keeping them in my life is retraumatizing to me, and exposes my child and spouse to their dysfunction and abuse. Not sure how it's "avoidant" to protect myself and my family.[/quote]

In other words you have talked to a therapist but no professional has recommended you deal with your issues by cutting contact with your parents.  The pros didn't tell you what you wanted to hear so you came to the internet for validation.  You haven't explained how the parents abused you.  You have a spouse.  Does he agree?  If so, why are you asking here instesd of him?[/quote]
Who the hell are you that you think OP has to lay her experiences before you? You sound like an arrogant asshole.  OP, you shouldn't indulge this jerk.[/quote]

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