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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]"Mom, I've been very clear about when we can visit.  When you try to lay guilt on me about it, it makes me not want to visit at all.  You can either just enjoy the times I can visit and we can have a good relationship or you can harp on me for not visiting enough and we won't have a good relationship.  That's really up to you."[/quote]

No this won't work because it's an attempt to appeal to mom's rationality which is absent.  The only way to deal with people like this assuming you don't want to cut them out entirely is to calmly but decisively shut them down and show who is boss.  JUST like you wouod do with a 2 year old child because these moms are acting spoiled and infantile in their grabs for attention.

You deal with whining Mom just like a whining child.  In fact you can even make that explicit:  "Now mom if you keeo whining I'm going to have to give you a time out from visiting the grandkids for a while.  Your behavior is immature and unacceptable."

You don't negotiate.  You don't play by mom's rules.  You set boundaries like an adult and then you make them stick.  Stop playing mom's game.
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