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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Contrary to what some PP's wrote, it can be healthy and really great for divorced/split co-parents to spend time with their child together.  It's a win/win -- the parents get more time with the child, and the child doesn't have to halve him/herself and only ever enjoy a life experience with one parent at a time.  My DH and his ex would go out to ice cream after SD's sports events together, would occasionally take her out to dinner together, and sometimes had dinner together at his ex's house.  I had no problem with it because I knew it was good for his daughter and for him, and I was not threatened by his ex.

In your situation, OP, what stands out to me is that you really have disdain for your boyfriend.  You think he's weak, dumb, and easily manipulated.  He prioritizes keeping his ex happy over keeping you happy.  You are threatened by his ex and by him spending time with his child and the mother of his child.

These are all GIANT RED FLAGS.  You can't change him or his trustworthiness.

It's not about whether this is appropriate.  It can be healthy in many situations, but it sounds unhealthy in yours.  But you can't control him.  What do you envision doing, forbidding him to see his kid with the mother of his kid?  How do you think that will work out?[/quote]

OP here and you make good points.  I do think it could be healthy for a child to spend time with both parents, but I feel like it really only works if both parents are on the same page.  If one parent is in another relationship and is solely  interested in making the child happy, while the other parent is secretly just trying to get her ex back, it doesn't really work out.  The child's mother's goal is to get her ex back so that she can have her happily ever after and her family.  If her intentions weren't bad and if she had no ulterior motives, I would be fine with it.[/quote]

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