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[quote=Anonymous]
I totally agree with the couple of posts suggesting that you do some research and find things to do outside the house.

But I'd add, be sure that some of those things are done by the kids with just dad and MIL and/or FIL -- and you get to stay in, or go out for a quiet meal on your own, or discover that you just have to get to the store to buy the X that you forgot, whatever. That gives you a break from the in-laws and gives your husband time to be with them and the kids. Then you do the same for him a few times -- you and the kids with the in-laws while he catches a break. But present it to his parents as "special time with the grandkids" and not as "we adults need to get away from you...."

If he has old friends in the area, he can maybe meet up with one of them which gives him the out of saying, "the kids would be so bored with two guys just catching up.

Also, try to find times when DH can do something with his parents without you OR the kids there; you take the kids to a kiddie movie the adults would hate while DH just chats with his folks, or does some activity with them, or takes them to do something they need to get done with his help (I used to go with my MIL to the store so husband could visit with FIL just as adult son and dad). Husband might find things go better with his folks if he spends a little time with them without the kids and you around to be a focus for MIL's negative behaviors. If I were DH I would be SURE to avoid talking about your own family at those times--he can ask about how they are doing and about other innocuous things, but should change the topic if they start to criticize you or the kids.

But here's the key in all these ideas: Your husband, not you, should suggest this stuff. It should come from him as his suggestions and he should be firm. "Mom, I'd really like some time with just you and me. I'll take you out to lunch today while Dear Wife takes the kids to get those bathing suits we forgot to bring." And so on. If you suggest it, MIL will possibly view it as "Daughter-in-law wants to avoid me and keep me from the grandkids!" but if DH suggests it (and does so along the lines of "This is going to happen and isn't it just great!") she may be likelier to see it as "Son wants special alone time with me!" If he can't bear being with her--he might be using the kids as a buffer, but remind him that that isn't great for the kids as they hear grandma saying how bad they are.

If this is for a week, is there any chance of a half-day class or camp the kids can do while they're there to give them a break from the grandparents? My mom's small town still had summer stuff going on for kids at the rec centers and arts center. If they're old enough for that kind of thing, it could give them something to do and time out of the house, where being restless and bored likely makes them do stuff that grandma thinks is "bad." (Even though it's normal!)

Can you go for less than a week? This sounds like truly it should be a long-weekend relationship, not a week-long-visit one.[/quote]

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