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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I keep reading and hearing about playdates and I am sincerely curious: does everyone do playdates for their kids?  I have a pretty bad social anxiety and am really introverted - unfortunately as a result, my kids have not had too many playdates (they are 8 and 6).  I feel really guilty about it but it really is very hard for me to approach other moms and they usually don't approach me.  My kids are also introverted and they rarely talk about wanting playdates.  Other kids are not asking for playdates with my kids either.  When I mention all this to friends, they almost always tell me that I have to set up playdates for my kids no matter how painful or dreadful.  How do other introverted moms do it?  Any advice would be appreciated.[/quote]

Hi OP- I suck it up because I have to. DD (now 8 y/o) is a complete extrovert (and only child). I, on the other hand, am a complete introvert. It's easier now than it used to be. When DD was very little the parents HAD to stay- it was excruciating (even though the parents were great). Now that drop-offs are my life, it's become much easier. I have to suffer through small talk at drop-off and pick-up but other than that communication usually happens via textl.

You may try to initiate one per month because play-dates are great to help children build relationships outside of school- but only if your child actually wants it. If he/she doesn't want a play-date then don't force it- they'll be just fine either way.
Tips: 
1. Have a firm pick up time and be sure to start getting the guest ready in advance of pick-up. That way the mom doesn't have to hang around and make small talk when the kid takes forever getting on the shoes and jacket.
2. Have independent activities planned in case your kids have trouble engaging with their guest right away. Nothing that requires you to be too heavily involved (craft, Wii, snack, etc)
3. Be available but don't hover. If you have any helicoptering tendencies this is the time to squash them so the play-date doesn't drain you.
4. Carve out (if you can) some alone time- or at least some quiet time later in the day.
5. Ask questions via email or text prior to the play date (allergies/sensitivities, pet anxieties, does she like AG dolls and would she want to bring one to play with, etc). This will help you better prepare and (hopefully) reduce the surprises.
 
I just think it's important to set aside your feelings about play-dates and ask your kids what they'd like. Every time DD asks to play with someone new my stomach drops because the whole "getting to know you process" starts all over again. I have to keep her social calender pretty full because she's happiest when she's with friends. I feel your pain, OP. Good luck!

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