Reply to How to discipline 10 year old who always comes home late

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]He's 10. Tell the mother to send him home at a certain time or pick him up. A 10 yr old doesn't look at his watch while playing. He also doesn't know what an hour feels like vs 30 minutes. You are expecting too much.[/quote]

Um, if your 10 year old can't tell the difference between 30 minutes and a hour, there's a problem.

All the kids know to be back when I said or they won't be allowed out for the rest of the day (under 8 and/or before noon), rest of the day and tomorrow (8-12 and/or between noon and 9pm), or the next three days (13+ and after 9pm).  The rules are fairly relaxed, unless they lie to me about where they are going to be, are late coming home or were doing something they know isn't allowed.

The single time that I had to track down two kids was horrific for me, and the consequences were horrific for them.  8 year old boy and 7 year old girl, they were supposed to be riding around the block, coming back up our street, then going around the other block and they were supposed to be out for about another 30 minutes (with me glancing out the window as I finished the dishes.  15 minutes passed and they hadn't gone by for 10 minutes, I figured that they had stopped to talk to a friend, and they would be reminded that they weren't to stop unless they let me know first.  30 minutes, no kids.  45 minutes and I was dealing with the younger hooligans, getting them into bed, the 10 year old volunteered to watch them once I got them to sleep, but he knew they wouldn't go to sleep for him.  I finally left the house about 45 minutes after the kids were supposed to be back, drove around both blocks, no kids.  Getting worried, I called the police to help me search, we found both bikes with three other kids' bikes about half a mile away on the side of a ravine...  We were calling for them, no kids responding.  Finally, one of the cops saw the edge of a jacket in the bottom of the ravine; the kids were hiding because they knew they were going to be in trouble.

They both were sent to bed without a snack, since they had missed the time they normally were allowed fruit/veggies.  Both sat on the couch all day the next day, they were only allowed to get up to use the bathroom, eat with the family, do schoolwork (homeschooling) or do chores.  The following day, they were allowed to play in the "yard" (patch of dirt about 20'x25') just like their toddler brother, as long as I was out there or they stuck their heads in the house every five minutes.  Two days of consistent timing and they were allowed to bike three houses up and three houses down, required to come talk to me every ten minutes.  The 8 year old got smart and started coming a few minutes early, so I allowed him to go all the way up and down the block (somewhere between a sixth and a quarter of a mile), but the 7 year old was still barely on time.  Eventually, they earned back the privileges, and there weren't any issues after that.  I think it really struck them that it was serious when they weren't allowed to play in the "yard" without sticking their heads in every 5 minutes, even when I was watching out the window the whole time and they knew it.[/quote]

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