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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, either you are not married or have not faced strife in your marriage or your life.

Issues creep up on you. They creep up on you as you get married, have kids, juggle said marriage, kids, in between (likely) two full time jobs. So much of this is just survival. You are just trying to get through every day. You don't have time to dwell on what is wrong, why you feel alienated from your spouse, why you haven't had sex in weeks/months. It just cumulates until one person hits a wall, realizes how unhappy they have become, and have to find the guys to 1) believe that life could be better and 2) acknowledge that belief out loud to their spouse.

Does this sound easy to you? Cause it sure is not. Not for anybody for whom this happens.[/quote]

Actually, we have faced strife. DH and I went throughs something rather tragic earlier this year. We been working very hard to deal with it and stay close to each other. But it has brought out a few of his issues that are now affecting the marriage. So he is starting up individual therapy because he is seeing how his issues could destroy us. I've thought we might need to go into couple's counseling but for now I'm satisfied that individual therapy is the best route. And in 3-6 months we will re-evaluate whether or not we need couple's counseling.

So no, I do not think it sounds easy. I think it takes work and attention.  And life is messy and draining. But constantly fighting is even more draining. Divorce and sharing custody is even more messy. So I don't understand why people wait so long. 1-2 years I understand, 5+ years, I don't get. [/quote]

FFS OP, you are so narrow minded. Not everybody's marriage entails a bunch of fighting. I am sort of getting tired of trying to explain this to somebody who clearly does not understand that your experiences are not everybody else's, that not all spouses are cognizant of their issues, and that not all spouses know how to communicate.[/quote]

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