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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. How do you know if your gay??[/quote]

It's me your friendly neighborhood bisexual again. You're not gay. If you were, you would not have been able to be satisfied by men for 20 years. (I'm assuming here you weren't raised Fundamentalist or anything where they might have very actively tried to repress gayness.) What you are is a woman in her 30s. You don't mention how old your kids are, but if you have been in the throes of child rearing for a while, you probably have not noticed the massive increase in sexual energy that happens to women then, because the hormones have dampened it. I'd bet that's what's going on here. As the volume on your sexuality gets turned up, so to speak, you are noticing things about your attractions you didn't notice before. [/quote]

This is just not correct in every case. My sisters wife used to be married to a man. No one forced her into it and she was definitely not raised in a repressive environment, but she grew up in a time when everyone assumes hetersexuality and it was a process for her of realizing what she really wanted. By the time she realized she needed to get out and explore relationships with women she had two kids, but honestly years later she and her ex have an amazing co parenting relationship, she is remarried, he's moved on and they have a pretty cool blended family happening. There's no rule that says you can't realize you are gay later than usual. My sister also dated a lot of men before realizing it wasn't for her.[/quote]

Also I think you missed my real point which was: the 30s and 40s is when many women's experience of their sexuality undergoes huge changes. It is not an unusual time for new "stuff" to emerge. For some this includes new revelations about orientation. For others, differences in sex drive. Op is looking for a way to understand her changes. This is one way. [/quote]

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