Reply to No proof of abuse, but worried about it.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It's not up to you or anyone else to decide what she does with her life. Unless she asks for advice, you and the others need to mind your own business.[/quote]

Even when she rarely leaves the house? When she does it is only for errands or sometimes with a family member? When she comes up with mysterious bruises she blames on their very old and sweet dog? I know this needs more details, but I am afraid I'll be cut out for posting just what I have. I'm honestly asking, is this no big deal? Because maybe we are all just seeing things that aren't there.[/quote]

I already posted that for now just focus on staying connected to her and the kids.  But I didn't see the comment about mysterious bruises.  I used to be a domestic violence counselor, and the truth is that a lot worse things go on in families that seem a lot less "different" or weird.  I'd guess your gut is right that it can get pretty ugly in private, if the husband has anger issues even in public.  But right now it doesn't sound like you know enough specifics (or maybe you do and can't post) to really do much.  Try to focus on the kids, on being good relatives who will offer to take them to give parents a break, maybe even take them on vacation.  Their behavior or what they say will tell you a lot in either direction - maybe they're fine and that will be clear.  Or, maybe they're really not fine... and that will be clear too.  It's just hard to know what to do and who to call without knowing the details.  (but I understand why you're not giving more details).[/quote]

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