Reply to Manners 101 - what is important to you?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=ciaojenny]What specific manners or points of etiquette are important to you? Anything you wish more people would remember or any "old school" manners you would like to make a comeback?

I started thinking about this when speaking to a friend about how gentlemanly my husband is and how I was taken aback by this when we first met. It comes very natural to him and I hope it will to our boys. I also want our girls to see this as a reflection of a man's character and not of hers - whether she is attracted to gentleman qualities or not. He is also white collar and business etiquette is very important to him, I admire that about him.

As for manners that are important to me, I find people who are habitually late extremely rude and self centered. I also wish people dressed up more and took more pride in their appearance. I don't care if you are a prep or a psychobilly, you can wear clean clothing and comb your hair. Put on an actual pair of pants to go to the grocery store, things like that. Also prompt correspondence, people are so easily accessible today yet are not, you know? Table manners are a pet peeve of mine too, slurping and slouching. Wearing a hat at the table or leaving a huge mess when at a restaurant. Whenever I host a party or guests in our home, I always try to adhere to proper etiquette because I think it enhances my guests experience without them even noticing. I could go on, but I am interested in hearing what others think. Its also funny to me, sometimes some of the wealthiest and most "society" people I know day to day are actually ruder than others who are not considered a part of that "circle".

Haha, I am sure I sound very uptight, I am not. I don't want 1940s Emily Post here, I just think we've lost a great deal of simple etiquette that would go a long way in our society. Also I am sure I do something that is considered poor manners to someone else, this is a very subjective subject. :)[/quote]

I'm thrilled to see your thread OP, because you are basically me, and I always hide this side of myself because people are so judgmental about us and think we are "uptight". But we're not! We are interested in etiquette because we LIKE people, and we like the company of other people, and etiquette exists to make life easier, better and more pleasant and enjoyable for everyone. It's only a tool of social exclusion when it lets you decide who will bring more of that pleasantness to your life and who will not.

Here are some of the things that I like to see:
- Yes, please dress with pride. That doesn't mean you need to spend money! The other day on the subway, I was covertly admiring a young woman out of the corner of my eye. She had nothing expensive on, but she had soft wavy hair that she neatly pinned back from her face, she wore red lipstick that looked great against her pale skin, and she was dressed in an adorable vintage-y fit-and-flare white lace dress with a high neck and generally looked very retro. She may well have bought her outfit at a thrift store but she looked charming and put-together.

- Yes! Don't be late! I'm a stickler for punctuality and take lateness as a sign of disrespect.

- Don't reach across the table for a dish, ask someone to pass it to you (you'd be surprised how many adults I've seen lunge across the table for a dish!)

- I like hand-written thank you notes because they're so personal, thoughtful and have a gravitas about then that a thank-you text doesn't.

- If your parents introduce you to someone, give them a big, friendly smile and ask them how they are. So many teens have this surly attitude, or a snotty look on their face, like "who are you and why is Mom making me waste my time saying hi to you?" I wonder how such well-mannered adults turn out such rude children sometimes. I can't be the only one who notices this? [/quote]

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