Reply to mom accusing me of keeping DD away from her

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If all goes well, one day you will the MIL.

She wants the chance to know and love her grandkids.  You sound awful, to be honest.  Your inlaws sound like they don't care much, which is fine, but I don't see why you are holding them up as the grandparent model.  I'd love to have such loving grandparents for my kids.  Why isn't holding the baby helpful?  To you, her and the baby?[/quote]

So, who comes first? Your parents or your DH and children? Seems it's a toss up for some. [/quote]
You are quoting me, but not sure of your point or whether you agree or disagree.

FWIW, I think you should put your own family first if there's a conflict, but often (like here) there needn't be a conflict.  Anyway, OP has changed her story so I don't know.  I think it's cruel to say no visits from your mom because of electricians, painting, etc (they're family; house does not have to be done for visits).  However, as it turns out, OP's family and her parents don't get along and THAT is the reason the visit isn't happening.  OP's mom realizes that OP is just making an excuse (house in chaos) but doesn't want her around.  That may or may not be legitimate, imo, no way to tell whether OP's parents are really so bad.  If it were me, I would have led with that information.  Anyway, I didn't call OP an ahole, but I think she's probably not nice and is preventing her DD from seeing her mother due to pettiness.[/quote]

I think this is a little unfair. For most people, our ability to deal with conflict/stressful situations is related to how many other stressful things we have going on at the same time -- we can only tolerate so much stress at once. So a visit from OP's parents that brings conflict may be tolerable when things are overall pretty calm, but if you throw in the stress of a home improvement/renovation period (which can be very stressful), the added stress of the family conflict may be enough to put the person over the edge.[/quote]

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