Reply to Tricky situation with a friend. Please advise

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here, My sister in-law who happened to be my maid of honor paid for my wedding gown. I went for a fitting with her and she just surprised me... I felt so humbled by the gesture. I wanted to pass that same gesture to a friend.

You are right it's not my place to plan her wedding. I think I am just panicking on her behalf... Considering it's like 12 weeks to her wedding, I think you can see where I am coming from. [/quote]Yes, OP, you're making yourself responsible for things that are not your responsibility.  Dh and I planned my wedding and my sister who was my maid of honor was responsible for buying her own dress that complemented the colors in mine (didn't wear white). She didn't organize or pay for a damned thing.  She just showed up.  If we had screwed up the organization of our wedding it wouldn't have been her problem, it would have been ours.

It's very nice that you want to help your friend with all this but she is pretty clearly telling you to back off multiple times.  She is going to do it her way  which won't be your (much better organized and sane) way.  You have to accept that and try to enjoy the wedding even though you can't control it.  On another note, I suggest you look more closely at your inclination to step in and take over a problem that doesn't belong to you.  This is not a healthy way to live your life -- even though I know you have the best of intentions.

Hope you stay in the wedding.  Hope you learn to accept that it will happen the way it happens and have fun![/quote]

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